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http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123717 : Billy Mays and the other TV pitchmen are cleaning up better than a sheet of ShamWow during these tough economic times. This story is free - all you have to pay is a shipping and processing charge [Interesting] - NJ.com
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123627 : The City of Atlanta is tackling its crack problems by making it illegal "to expose one's undergarments in a public setting." [Amusing] - (wxiatv.com)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123705 : People raised an eyebrow when they heard Casey Anthony didn't report her child missing for over a month. These parents waited 10 years to report their missing 11-year-old. Or maybe 12, they're not really sure. Whatever [Dumbass] - CNN
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123349 : MySanAntonio reader threatens to cancel subscription after spotting a picture of what he felt was a same-sex couple in newspaper, saying it wanted to make him "puke all over his breakfast table." Newspaper: "It wasn't" [Dumbass] - My San Antonio
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123333 : News: Man diagnosed with inoperable brain tumor. Fark: "My only ray of hope right now is a clinical trial with the venom that's found in a giant, yellow scorpion in Israel" [Weird] - (kenosha news)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123547 : Another day, another nation closes its borders to a highly contagious haemorrhagic fever. Nothing to see here, move along [Scary] - Reuters
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123503 : Your parent is assassinated. Do you (a) Vow revenge, (b) Call for peace, or (c) put on a foreign accent and release a rap video on YouTube? [Strange] - Independent
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123657 : Britain to start hacking people's PC's, planting keyloggers, looking for porn, lolcats [Asinine] - London Times
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123303 : Alright, stop, collaborate and listen. Boston's back with a brand new edition. 34 photos grab hold of you tightly, taken during day and some of them nightly. Ice Ice baby(NSFW pic of naked old man's bum) [Cool] - Boston Globe
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123157 : McDnoald's, Bucksstar Coffee and Pizza Huh all open in China's newest knock-off shopping center. It's not news, it's Frak.cn [Asinine] - Mirror.co.uk
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123007 : One in 10 young people feel life is meaningless and they get no pleasure from trespassing on other people's lawns with their pants sagging down to their ankles and listening to that noise they call 'rap music' any more [Sad] - (Some Guy)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122879 : Done with your Christmas tree? Bring it to the local park to be recycled. Tree must be decoration-free. ARTIFICIAL TREES NOT ACCEPTED [Florida] - Local10 WPLG
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123067 : After US Army lets felons and elderly sign up, it's only logical lardasses would be the next demographic waived in [Scary] - Yahoo
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122802 : Nitro from "American Gladiators" speaks about life after steroids Bonus: Mention of "Man-Boobs" and "Breast-Chesticles" in first sentence [Interesting] - Fox News
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123115 : Ace Hardware: Double ended male "adapters" are illegal, dangerous, a fire hazard, and possible [sic] immoral. Wait, what? [Asinine] - The Consumerist
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122940 : That'll be $3.47 for the grapes, but no charge for the Black Widow spider [Scary] - SeattlePI
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122763 : Newark bans barbed-wire, much to the dismay of countless young men with cheesy, unoriginal bicep tattoos [Interesting] - AZCentral
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122929 : Women who play with fake babies, taking them to the park, out to eat, hosting birthday parties for them. "It's not a crazy habit ... It's like a hobby." [Strange] - (WJLA)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123128 : No more free beer at Busch Gardens. Everyone sad except for Mr. Roller Coaster Vomit Cleaner Guy [Sad] - (Some Guy)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122988 : Alaska trying to celebrate 50th anniversary of statehood, but it's TOO FRIGGIN COLD [Obvious] - (Fairbanks Daily News-Miner)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122954 : Hooters fires waitress who was a victim of domestic abuse, telling her that her bruised body violated company standards for maintaining a "glamorous appearance" [Asinine] - Des Moines Register
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122932 : Not only are more people driving drunk, but they're driving twice as drunk as they were before [Dumbass] - CBC
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122997 : "'Missing white girl syndrome' continues to be one of the most pernicious expressions of our contemporary media culture" [Obvious] - (Some Guy)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4123133 : Cows may be sacred in India but they are still not allowed to work as air hostesses on Air India [Obvious] - London Times
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122660 : Media once again trots out the repeatedly debunked "divorce lawyers brace for busiest week of the year" story to mark the first week of January [Followup] - London Times
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122953 : FBI spokesperson says coming up with nicknames for bank robbers is one of the more trying parts of the job. In other news, Farkers still looking for recent Spilled-Beer-on-the-Server bandit [Interesting] - Chicago Tribune
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122643 : Council plans to spend £10,000 on "pigeon awareness day", because pooping on everybody's heads doesn't make them aware enough [Asinine] - Daily Mail
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122941 : Ever wonder if terrorists could use insects to spread biological weapons? Well, now you are [Scary] - Telegraph
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122706 : "Virginia is for Lovers" tourism slogan hits middle age and looks like it's been ridden hard and put away wet [Amusing] - Virginian Pilot
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122535 : One thirds of Londons population has fled to rural areas due to uncontroled immigration. Rural areas now demand immigration controls [Ironic] - Telegraph
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122231 : Sick of being laughed at every time it walks into a bar, escaped horse decides to check out the local cinema instead [Silly] - Telegraph
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122657 : Not news: Couple decide on African wedding. News: Police stop them at the train station. Fark: The couple are aged 6 and 7 [Unlikely] - BBC
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122474 : Local council declares that 18 inch deep kiddy's paddling pools need fully trained lifeguards patrolling them. Can you guess where? [Stupid] - Telegraph
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122551 : China begins campaign to rid internet of pornography, currently delayed by problem of getting tanks into the tubes [Unlikely] - (Irish Times)
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122729 : "Attention air traffic control, this is Delta. We have a drunk and unruly passenger on board. Requesting assistance." "Roger Delta. This is air traffic control. Uh, divert to Canada. Over and out." [Weird] - Atlanta Journal Constitution
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122541 : Former Grand View Motel proposes coffee served topless. Yep that's a grand view [Amusing] - Seacoastonline.com
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122646 : Premium tuna fetches $100,000 in Tokyo auction. To those who didn't win the auction -- sorry, Charlie [Strange] - AP
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122400 : Recession causes sagging business for breast-enhancement surgeons, resulting in drooping profits; docs fear a complete bust soon. Boobies [Spiffy] - New York Daily News
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122468 : Early converters of that cotton pickin' converter box thingy be learnin' that them there diggity pictures look pretty darn good. "I thought the wavy lines was 'cause of my drinkin, but naw. It's all real clear now." [Amusing] - USA Today
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122618 : TSA workers report rashes from uniforms; doctors recommend applying 3.5 ounces or less of lotion to the affected area [Strange] - Chicago Sun-Times
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122461 : The ranks of homeschoolers have risen by 74 percent since 1999. You would have submitted this with a better headline, but your mom won't let you have a computer because it's a tool of the devil. Now wash your hands [Interesting] - USA Today
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=4122636 : Researchers discover that married couples actually feel happier when their kids have finally packed up and stopped draining all of their resources. Who would have thought it? [Obvious] - Telegraph